Sorry, Lloyd Dobler, I’d Rather Date Walter Gibson

 When it comes to 80s movie boyfriends, I think we all can agree that Lloyd Dobler from Say Anything is close to the top of the list. How can you not like a guy who sends a girl cards in the mail and tries to win her over by holding a boom box outside her bedroom window? You may remember me mentioning that I tormented my college roommates with a poster of John Cusack in Say Anything. In my new apartment, it’s hanging next to Harrison Ford in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (not my favorite of the films, but by far the best poster!).

Obviously I have excellent taste in 80s film stars.

But as much as I love Lloyd Dobler, he’s not my favorite 80s boyfriend. He’s not even my favorite 80s boyfriend played by John Cusack. My favorite 80s Cusack boyfriend is Walter Gibson in The Sure Thing.

Gib and Lance

Gib is a guy who after high school goes off to a New England college while his best friend Lance, played by an equally young Anthony Edwards, goes to school in L.A. Gib tries to go out with a girl at school, Allison, played by Daphne Zuniga (also known for her role as Princess Vespa in Spaceballs). He tries to hit on her using such great pick up lines as “Did you know that Shakespeare died of syphilis?” and sneaking her up to the roof of the library where he tells her about the constellations and how when he was six he wanted to be an astronaut – “You know, all the Tang you can drink” – then ruining it by repeating a convoluted speech his roommate told him works on girls.

All first dates should be at libraries.

When it doesn’t work out, Gib decides to take up Lance’s offer to come to California over Christmas break to hook up with a “sure thing”: a girl that will sleep with him no questions asked. He hitches a ride out with a couple that loves show tunes and, of course, Allison. Needless to say it doesn’t work out well and the show tunes couple leaves them on the side of the road to fend for themselves.

This is when you start to see why Gib is so awesome. First, he eats beer and cheese puffs for breakfast. Allison thinks this is completely disgusting, but he’s like Hey, I’m a dude in college. This is what I do. And it’s awesome whether you think so or not. He doesn’t actually say this but this you can tell this is what he’s thinking. He doesn’t care if you are a girl he has a crush on, he’s not changing to impress you.

Snowballs are a great breakfast food, thank you very much.

Then when Allison hitches a ride from an older guy in a truck, he sneaks in the back to follow her. The guy turns out to be a real creep, a weird guy in his late 50s pretending to be single that essentially tries to rape Allison – and might have gotten away with it, being in the middle of nowhere – but Gib gets in the cab with them (as if accepting a ride) and proceeds to act completely insane so as to distract the creeper and get Allison out of there. 

Creeper in a mint suit.

And she’s barely even grateful! Come on, Allison, Gib’s looking out for you, at least try to like him.

They finally get to a hotel somewhere, where they bond over a beer and he’s trying to be nice to her, and she has to go and call her boyfriend in California. Upset, Gib goes out to a bar, where he buys drinks for a couple middle-aged guys who are also sad and lonely.

"We're a couple of good-looking guys."

The kid is a freshman in college, and not only does he make friends with a couple of random dudes at a bar, he sings Christmas songs with them! At one point he only has $18.77 to his name and lends a guy at the train station a dollar because he asked for one. He may not be the most put together guy, but he’s generous.

One of my favorite scenes is a little while later, when they’re at a fancy hotel. Allison somehow left her money and schedule book in the previous hotel, so they’ve been hitchhiking all day with no money and nothing to eat and it starts pouring rain.

Of course.

When they try to pick a lock on a random trailer to find shelter, Allison finds she has a credit card in her purse, so they get dinner and a room at the only place around that takes credit: a really fancy place with wine and ladies walking around selling roses (Who does that? Is that an 80s thing?). They’ve been fighting the whole trip because she refuses to let him sleep in the same bed with her and makes one of them sleep on the floor (He keeps making the argument that “I’m not going to bed with you, I’m going to bed in a bed that you happen to be in also,” but it doesn’t work). Now that a few days have passed and she doesn’t hate him so much, she tells Gib they can both sleep in the bed, and this time he ruins everything by bringing up her boyfriend. He asks her to tell him about the guy, and she says “he’s directed”. Gib says, no, what’s he really like? “Is he funny? Does he make you laugh?” and she gets this look on her face like Oh my god, my boyfriend is the most boring guy on the planet. I’d much rather be with Gib but can’t because I’m too proud to admit it.

Awww.

 So then, in the morning, the camera pans over to show them snuggled up together, Gib with his arm around Allison. She wakes up and is happy and everything is great for about 30 seconds until he realizes what he’s doing. Gib gets defensive about not trying anything and jumps out of bed and stands around in a goofy dinosaur shirt trying to be gentlemanly. She’s like, Oh, it’s okay, I know you didn’t try anything, as if to say hello, I was there, I know what happened. And that’s when we know they love each other but they still have another 30 minutes of movie left until they figure it out.

In the end, [SPOILER ALERT] Gib doesn’t sleep with the “sure thing” because he really likes Allison.  She breaks up with her boring boyfriend and they finally get together, after he writes another story for the English class they have together, because even though he’s a nonchalant college guy, he’s also great at creative writing.

Everybody likes Lloyd Dobler. He’s a great guy. Buy why hang out with the nice guy when you could have a boyfriend like Gib, who watches out for you even when you’re mad at him, would give away his last $5 if asked, write essays about eating pizza without burning the roof of your mouth, and most importantly, makes you laugh?

Also, he’s 80’s John Cusack, he’s adorable!