Mottos

A few weeks ago my I found out that a young relative of mine, a year or so out of high school, up and decided to move to Florida with a group of his friends. My family – and more specifically, his – are worried about him. They are praying for him, hoping he won’t go through with it, and grudgingly helping him because it’s the right thing to do. I understand their concerns, he’s young, he’s winging it without much thought, they’re afraid of what might happen to him. My first thought wasn’t one of worry, though. I found myself sitting there thinking, I wish I was that brave.

I surprised myself a little with that. For a moment, I truly envied the fact that he had put all of his belongings in the back of his car and just gone for it. Is that really something that I want for my life?

I think part of me does. I hate winter with a passion. Just the thought of another winter coming, of months on end of scraping snow off my car and having to walk across icy driveways and parking lots, makes me a little nauseous. I would practically give my right leg to live in a location where winter meant 2 inches of snow a year. I just told someone yesterday that I need to move somewhere warmer. And I really meant it.

It’s been on my mind lately that I don’t fit in where I live. I look at my hometown with feelings of nostalgia and then remember that I still live here. I think of it kind of the way I do my alma mater – it was great for the time I was there, and holds a lot of great memories, but you can’t live on campus for the rest of your life. You have to move on.

I’ve lived my life following the motto of que sera, sera  – whatever will be, will be. If it’s meant to happen, then it will. I tend not to worry about things and let the chips fall where they may. The mindset has fared me pretty well so far. I didn’t stress about where I would go to college or whether or not I’d get hired after graduation. I believed that whatever was meant to happen would.

Now, for some reason, I’m starting to question all of that. Maybe it’s because my 25th birthday is coming up soon and I’m having some sort of quarter-life crisis. Maybe it’s because my Facebook feed is filled with updates about marriages, new babies, and new pregnancies, none of which apply to me. Or maybe it’s a bad case of wanderlust and I just need to go somewhere on vacation in order to come back and feel at home again.

Whatever it is, it's got me thinking that maybe I need to change my motto from que sera, sera to carpe diem, seize the day. What am I waiting for? Shouldn't I go and do rather than sit and wait?

I wish I was that brave.