Top 5: Creepiest Collector Barbies Currently for Sale

It's been a long time since I've posted a Top 5 - between moving, my friends' weddings, and not having internet at home, time has slipped away from me. But I'm going to get back into the habit of posting each Monday if it kills me, so without further ado, a new Top 5 list!

So I was perusing the Barbie website today, and honestly I'm not sure how I got there. One minute I was reading posts at Wired, and a few links later I was at BarbieCollector.com. The internet: it's a slippery slope, people. Anyway, I was flipping through the newest Barbies, as I used to collect fancy Barbies when I was a kid (I was a weird child who would rather look at them in boxes than play with them), and realized there are some really weird dolls out there. These are the creepiest dolls you can currently buy.

5. Pink in PANTONE Barbie, $49.95

I love Pantone swatches as much as the next graphic designer, so I kind of like this one, even if it is kooky. Still, how much of a crossover market is there for graphic design geeks who collect Barbie dolls?

4. Dancing with the Stars Samba Barbie, $29.95

I cannot understand the popularity of this show. I have seen multiple episodes, and I just don't get it. What I really do not understand is the ridiculous costumes worn by the dancers, usually the female partner. This doll comes complete with crazy glitter eyeshadow.

3. Tim McGraw & Faith Hill Dolls, $49.00

As a kid who grew up listening to country pop, I know that Tim & Faith are the power couple of country music. Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert can only hope to be as awesome as the two of them. The pair of dolls are actually not terrible, except for the weird expression on Faith's face. She is a very pretty woman in real life, and this makes her look really creepy.

2. The Twilight Saga: New Moon Jacob Doll, $24.95

This doll plays into the whole "Twilight Moms" culture that thoroughly concerns me. This is a collector doll, for adults, featuring a shirtless teenage boy. Creepy.

1. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part I Edward Doll, $29.95

Do I have to explain this one? He's made of creepy almost-white plastic. I guess I should be glad that they didn't embed glitter to make him sparkle in the sunlight. In a weird way he actually looks like a vampire, Ann Rice-style.

Bonus creepy: look at him when they pose him with the Bella doll. He's staring at her in a "you look delicious" kind of way. Because that's a great way to portray a teenage romance.

All images from www.barbiecollector.com

Gadget Envy (Or Why I Need An iPhone, But Am Not Buying One Yet)

Until I was a freshman in college I had never used an Apple computer. In fact I can only remember seeing one once before, in a display at Sears at our local mall. It was the year that the colorful iMacs came out and they had them displayed like candy with delicious color names like “blueberry” and “tangerine” that made me insanely happy as a 13-year-old. I spent the entire time my parents shopped for a new refrigerator drooling over them and their tiny circular mice. Our computer was a huge beige box with a giant monitor stacked on top of it, I could barely comprehend a computer so awesome!

Six years later I was starting to study graphic design in college and didn’t know how to turn on the skinny white desktop in our Mac Lab. Within a year of learning the ins and outs of working on an Apple I bought one myself and vowed never to go back to PCs again.

Now I'm a designer at a company that only uses Macs, I have a MacBook at home, and my phone - is Android. And not even one of the new fancy Droids that looks like an iPhone, but a first-generation that looks like a dinosaur in comparison. I feel like I'm back in high school with the off-brand Sketchers instead of the real ones. I'm almost temped to write "sent from my iPhone" at the end of my emails just to look cool.

And on top of my cell embarrassment, it seems like everyone I know is getting the new iPhone. Half of the people in my office already have them. My brother and his girlfriend, who are so distant from technology that they don't even have Facebook accounts, got them for Christmas. Now even my mother is talking of getting one. My mother! Obviously I am not at all cool anymore if there is a chance that my mom will be getting the iPhone before me (Sorry, Mom).

It really bothers me that I put so much stock in looking cool and having the newest gadgets. Does my seemingly ancient Droid work fine? Yes. Will I survive without an iPhone, iPad or iPod touch? Of course. It's always been a topic of contention with me, materialism, being a graphic designer and a Christian. On the design side, I'm always anxious to play with the new technologies, fresh gadgets and upstart websites. I want to be up on the trends so when a client needs social media advice or wants to build and brand an iPad app I know what I'm talking about. But as a Christian, I know that my existence shouldn't revolve around whatever Apple comes up with next. There is more to life than the stuff I own.

Here's where things get hairy: what if my God-given purpose in life is working with the newest gadgets? Then is it okay to want the latest and greatest stuff? I believe that as a Christian you can have purpose in (almost) any profession, as long as you are doing what you're called to do in the way God wants you to. Maybe you're a Tim Tebow, whose talents in football has led to millions talking about his faith, and uses his money to bless a family every single game. Or maybe you're a Peggy Jo Carpenter, the 90-year-old lady that taught me Sunday school when I was little and now visits elderly shut-ins from her church, some of whom are 20 years younger than her. Or maybe you're skilled in computer programming and helped to build the Bible app that has had over 10 million downloads to date. There are lots of ways to use what you're good at.

That doesn't make it any better that I'm jealous of other people's iPhones.

The Right Stuff

I bought another planner today.

And by 'another', I don't mean my other one ran out and I had to get a new one; I mean there is still a month until school starts and I've bought three planners trying to find the perfect one. One had sweet "word of the day" features and quotes from books, but no monthly spreads. The second had the layout, but was perfect bound. The newest one is just right: fun colors, monthly spreads, spiral bound, even little tabs so you know what month you're looking at. It's exactly what I wanted.

But for some unknown reason I kept buying ones I wasn't even sure I wanted. I settled. I decided it was good enough, even though it didn't meet all my requirements.

Why do I do that? I've wasted more money on things I didn't really want just because I convinced myself that it was the best I could get. That's just ridiculous. So I open up the planner and I see this quote, front and center:

"One's philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes." - Eleanor Roosevelt

I sighed when I read that, because that is me in a nutshell. I never realized it until now, but I am a materialistic person. I have to have just the right stuff or I don't feel right. I can't just by 35-cent primary colored folders, I want the cute designed ones. I don't wear white socks, all mine are patterned. Come to think of it, I really don't own things that are boring. Even things no one gives a flying fig about I am particular with. I get colored q-tips because the look better. I am skeptical of anything that comes in poorly designed packaging.

When did I become such a snob?

I realized a few months ago that I am the type of person who literally judges books by their cover. If it has a unique picture or design and well-placed type, I will look at it. A book with a poorly taken photo of the author and generic centered type? Not interested. Even worse, I judge by the title. Books with titles like "The Darkest Hour" push me away. Titles like that are a dime a dozen. I once bought and read a book just because it was titled "The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse". Fantastic title, crappy book. I learned my lesson.

The thing is, I know intellectually that you shouldn't judge things on the way they look. But do I believe it? I buy things because they look a certain way and therefore I look a certain way. Wesleigh's cool, she has a tote bag with spoons on it! Who cares?? It's just stuff.

But it's not just stuff, it's my stuff. An extension of me. It's who I am.

It's who I am. I can't believe those words just came out of my mouth. I had no idea that I defined so much of myself on what I owned.

I don't want to be the kind of person who judges things on appearances and defines myself with material things. There is more to me than what operating system my computer runs on or what brand of shoes I wear. I know that then to look at other people and snap to conclusions based on their belongings. And yet somehow I seem to think that if I don't have the right stuff I'll be looked down upon.

I am just like that rich man in the New Testament that Jesus talks to. He comes before Christ and asks, "Good teacher, what should I do to inherit eternal life?" Jesus tells him to obey the commandments and he replies that he has. So Jesus tells him to sell his possessions and give everything to the poor, his treasure is in heaven. And then it says, in Luke 18, "But when the man heard this, he became very sad, since he was very rich (v. 23)." Jesus knew the guy was attached to his property and asked him to give up useless things for something much better. Unfortunately the man was so preoccupied with the status his stuff gave him that he couldn't even give it up in exchange for eternal life.

I don't like to admit it, but there are days when I would, like the rich man, turn away and never look back. It's easier to be materialistic than give it all up for Christ. Just look at the man in Luke. He could have endured some hardship, given up his wealth, and gained everything; but instead he did what was comfortable and looked cool and as a result no one even knows what his name was.

Maybe this is a wake-call. That I need to get out of what is comfortable. Raise the level of risk.